The Compassion Trap Commandments
I’m sharing this as a Mindful Monday blog because today, it was absolutely perfect for me! I am grateful to a wonderful and wise woman I met on Saturday who had the sense to send this to me. Thank you Margaret. She has used this for years in her work as a counsellor and I have a feeling it will resonate for many of us.
Compassion is a core value for me. What I’m still learning is that compassion starts with me. I know it in my head but my body and behaviour doesn’t always follow suit. I give a lot of my time and energy to others, very willingly, freely, with love and most of the time that works perfectly well. Sometimes it doesn’t, and at those times, I can end up feeling overwhelmed, stressed and unable to function. It’s at that point that I sense these Compassion Trap Commandments will be most useful and helpful to me. Today numbers 1, 3 and 4 are resonating with me loud and clear!
So I’m sharing them with you, dearest unicorns, as I know you to be compassionate people and I think you’ll find these useful too.
- MY TIME IS VALUABLE. I AM NOT ON 24 HOUR CALL
- I DON’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT AT EVERYTHING
- EVERYTHING DOESN’T HAVE TO BE DONE
- I NEED TO SAY NO SOMETIMES AND SET REASONABLE LIMITS FOR MYSELF
- I NEED TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF MYSELF AS I TAKE GOOD CARE OF OTHERS
6. I CAN DELEGATE IT, PAY SOMEONE TO DO IT OR NOT DO IT AT ALL
- COMPASSION, CONCERN AND CARE SHOULD NOT RESULT IN RESENTMENT, EXHAUSTION AND
- QUALITY CARING IS INFINITELY PREFERABLE TO QUANTITY CARING FOR BOTH GIVER AND RECEIVER
- IT IS NOT NECESSARILY HELPFUL TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OTHERS OR TO DO THINGS FOR
THEM WHICH THEY COULD DO FOR THEMSELVES
- I WILL SURVIVE WITHOUT EVERYONE’S CONSTANT APPROVAL