The Compassion Trap Commandments

Hi folks

I’m sharing this as a Mindful Monday blog because today, it was absolutely perfect for me! I am grateful to a wonderful and wise woman I met on Saturday who had the sense to send this to me. Thank you Margaret. She has used this for years in her work as a counsellor and I have a feeling it will resonate for many of us.

Compassion is a core value for me. What I’m still learning is that compassion starts with me.  I know it in my head but my body and behaviour doesn’t always follow suit. I give a lot of my time and energy to others, very willingly, freely, with love and most of the time that works perfectly well.  Sometimes it doesn’t, and at those times, I can end up feeling overwhelmed, stressed and unable to function. It’s at that point that I sense these Compassion Trap Commandments will be most useful and helpful to me. Today numbers 1, 3 and 4 are resonating with me loud and clear!

So I’m sharing them with you, dearest unicorns, as I know you to be compassionate people and I think you’ll find these useful too.

  1.  MY TIME IS VALUABLE. I AM NOT ON 24 HOUR CALL
  1.  I DON’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT AT EVERYTHING
  1. EVERYTHING DOESN’T HAVE TO BE DONE
  1.  I NEED TO SAY NO SOMETIMES AND SET REASONABLE LIMITS FOR MYSELF
  1. I NEED TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF MYSELF AS I TAKE GOOD CARE OF OTHERS

6. I CAN DELEGATE IT, PAY SOMEONE TO DO IT OR NOT  DO IT AT ALL

  1. COMPASSION, CONCERN AND CARE SHOULD NOT RESULT IN RESENTMENT, EXHAUSTION AND

STRESS

  1. QUALITY CARING IS INFINITELY PREFERABLE TO QUANTITY CARING FOR BOTH GIVER AND RECEIVER
  1. IT IS NOT NECESSARILY HELPFUL TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OTHERS OR TO DO THINGS FOR

THEM WHICH THEY COULD DO FOR THEMSELVES

  1. I WILL SURVIVE WITHOUT EVERYONE’S CONSTANT APPROVAL

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Kirstin - 7th November 2016

Brilliant list Georgia, a number of these resonate for me too especially number 4 and 7. Thanks for the reminder x

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Hayley - 8th November 2016

That’s going on the wall. 2,9 &10 for me but you probably could guess that! I am sure that I speak for other unicorns when I say that we want to return all the compassion and support you give us. If we can do anything to give back you only have to ask and we are multi talented. LOL.

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Jan Brause - 8th November 2016

Compassion always lands well with me Georgia, lovely words and thank you for sharing. I am recently back from a three day compassion workshop and retreat and if its of interest you can read my reflections here. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/building-resilience-through-compassion-jan-brause?trk=hp-feed-article-title-comment

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