Blogger or blogger, which one are you?
It strikes me that either you’re a blogger or a blogger 20 pilule viagra.
Bloggers seem to be able to effortlessly create rafts of content and get it out there on a frequent if not daily basis. If seems to flow as part of their work and business strategy and almost be part of their DNA.
By blagger, I mean someone who intends to blog, says they’ll blog, starts and does a bit, but then stops . . .
I know I’m a blogger, or at least, I have strong blogger tendencies, although I did write create and maintain a blog site for about six months, I didn’t sustain it. And having set a clear intention and with a strategic approach to blogging for my business, Find Your Inner Unicorn, I find myself 10 days after the first one with notes on my desk saying “WRITE BLOG!” In capital letters and on day-glo coloured post its. There are three of them on my Mac. I am clearly trying to get my own attention. I have managed to ignore myself since last Friday.
I am curious about this, as actually I enjoy writing, I find it easy once I get going and when I’m in the right space and moment, it flows. I trust myself to write from the heart, with integrity and get my thoughts and ideas across.
Yet I know I can blag myself and that I can easily let days go by with a lurking awareness at the back of my mind that I ought to write another blog. I spent all weekend doing other things and if I’m honest, I had plenty of time and space to myself to write a blog. I guess I didn’t want to!
In that last sentence I believe is one of the keys to differentiating myself as a blogger or a blagger.
When I tell myself I ought to do something, need to, must or should, I notice that my motivation levels drop away and it starts to feel like a chore, a push energy, rather than a pull energy and I defer it, procrastinate.
I tell myself I don’t have the clear head space I need to write, I tell myself I’ll fit it in later, I tell myself that other things are more important and here I am 10 days later, having blagged to myself all last week about blogging.
In NLP, this use of language (I need to, I must, I should) is identified as “modal operators of necessity” and is often markedly different in emotional impact than “modal operators of possibility”, which are words like “I could, I might, I want to, I will”.
At a deeper level, what I know to be true is that I have some beliefs, which are both enabling and limiting, and I can convince myself that a mindset of “I need to be in the right frame of mind to write” is one that mostly limits me.
What I noticed this morning is that I said to myself “I want to write that blog now” and in that straightforward affirmation, without any language of must, should or ought to, I didn’t feel any unwilling sense of obligation. I just made the decision that now was the time. Here I am, one side of A4 written and I’m enjoying myself, it’s easy, I feel in flow. I didn’t decide I was in the right frame of mind, or that I had enough space or time to think about writing, I just wanted to so I did.
I looked at my list of ideas I have for blogs (writing the list was very enjoyable for me, that bit came easily) and thought, “ok, I’ll start with why I find it hard to start as I think that’s common for lots of people and maybe I can help someone with that topic”.
Straightaway, the blogger / blagger angle appeared, as if by magic, and I was off, writing away, nothing getting in my way. I have ignored two phone calls emails during the time I’ve been writing this and that tells me I am focused, on purpose, engaged and stimulated by what I’m doing.
So my question to myself, and therefore to anyone else who chooses to read this, is what kind of language do you use to yourself about blogging? Or anything else that you find it hard to get started with or get around to? There are all sorts of bloggers – blogger-blaggers, gym-blaggers, writing-that-novel-blaggers, finishing-a-project-blaggers, mowing-the-lawn-blaggers . . . you get my gist I’m sure and can write your own blogger list.
The point is this . . . if you think you’re more of a blagger, how perhaps have you set yourself up with your own self-talk, limiting mindsets or beliefs, and brilliant variety of reasons /excuses as to why now isn’t the time to do it? Are you using words like “should” and “must” and switching off your own motivation before you’ve even had a chance to get going?
I’m not remotely judgemental about this, I know it’s a part of how I function and I have a level of awareness about it that enables me to remain curious about myself rather than critical. I do know that many people beat themselves up about this sort of stuff though and that rarely helps us, short or longer term.
So I’d gently suggest you become mindful of your own language and decide if you could, would like to or want to be more of a blogger / gym bunny / novelist / cupcake baker/ candlestick maker, than a blogger. Give yourself a head start by switching on the energy and motivation of possibility, rather than necessity. Examine your beliefs and mindsets and choose one that is most empowering for you.
I believe the choice is ours to make.
Today I’m a blogger. Woohoo! I’m going to bin those post-its now.